Heart of a Commander [Daughters of Lyra Series] Read online

He wouldn't hurt her.

  He wouldn't allow himself to.

  His eyes brightened and he held her hand tighter.

  "If you wish to see desire ... I can show you just how much I feel for you."

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  Chapter 6

  Amerii stumbled along behind Van as he marched down the corridor. She knew where he was taking her and she wasn't afraid, not even if her heart was threatening to burst out of her chest. She ignored it and held his hand. His vice-like grip on her was painful but she endured it, knowing that he had little control over himself. She had seen his eyes change. She had never seen them so bright or so full of conflict. There was violence in their depths, but fear and love tempered it. This was a leap forward for both of them, and she wouldn't fool herself into thinking that it wasn't a dangerous one. She had faith in Van though. He had been practicing relinquishing control since they had first met a year ago. In that time, he must have made substantial progress. He had made enough that he could kiss her without hurting her but when he had tasted her blood earlier he'd had trouble maintaining control. He had bordered on violent when his crew had interrupted them and had almost killed the officers back in the corridor.

  Sophia had told her that Regis had fought the palace guards when he had been lost in his bloodlust. He had wanted to kill them because they had interrupted him. Perhaps it was vital to make sure that didn't happen when she was with Van. Maybe if she locked them away and removed all possible methods of communication from the room then he would be all right and wouldn't perceive any threat to her. Once her blood was in his system, and she suspected what he had in mind would involve biting, he would become unpredictable. The bloodlust would take him completely. There was no doubt about that. When it did, she had to remain calm and she had to pray they weren't disturbed. The thought of Van hurting his crew because of her was sickening. She hadn't wanted to be responsible for that and she didn't want it to happen again.

  They reached his door and it opened as though it had recognised him. Amerii tripped on her feet when Van pulled her inside and clung to his arms to stop herself from falling. He held her elbows and helped her stand again.

  The door closed.

  "Amerii,” Van whispered in a tight voice full of emotion. She looked up into his vivid red eyes. “Do not fear me."

  Amerii shook her head and brought her hand up to touch his cheek. She could feel him shaking. He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch.

  "Know that I am yours to command. Even in the haze of the bloodlust, I may still respond to you even before I have claimed you as rightfully mine. I heard your voice back in the corridor. If you are frightened, do not hesitate to stop me."

  Amerii liked those words. Yours. Claimed. Mine. They had a beautiful ring of certainty about them. They sounded strong and fixed, unwavering. She was his. He was hers. Once he had placed a claim on her, then she would never have to fear the bloodlust again.

  Sophia had told her that too.

  When they were bonded, Van would no longer perceive everyone as a threat to her when he was in the bloodlust. He would be able to assess the danger and act accordingly.

  He would no longer see every male as a potential mate for her.

  It was that desire to protect what was his that would make him dangerous until they were bonded.

  She went to the door and frowned at the control panel beside it. It was totally different to any she had ever seen.

  "Do you wish to leave?"

  Those whispered words carried pain that cut deep into her heart. She spun on the spot to face Van and shook her head again.

  "No, Van ... never,” Amerii said and went back to him when she saw all the hurt in his red eyes. She touched his cheek again and he brought his hand up to claim hers, holding it tight as he pressed a kiss to her palm.

  It was strange to see so strong a man act so weak. A desire to protect him in return rose inside her and she wrapped her arms around him, hoping that her embrace would give him the reassurance he needed. He buried his face into her neck, his hands claiming her waist and pulling her body flush against his.

  "I wanted to lock the door,” she said and ran her fingers through his fine long black hair. “Maybe cut communications so we'll be truly alone."

  "Amerii,” Van whispered into her neck. “As the commander of this vessel, I must maintain contact with my crew."

  She frowned and then smiled. “Would you cut communications if a member of royalty ordered you to?"

  He came out of her embrace and looked deep into her eyes. “An order?"

  Amerii nodded. She had to make sure that no one could disturb them, or at least ensure that she had stopped every possible method of interruption. She couldn't do anything if someone was foolish enough to knock on the door.

  Van left her arms and walked past her to the door. He pressed a series of buttons on the control panel and then turned to face her. She bit her lip, nerves churning her stomach as she watched him remove his communication device from his collar.

  She swallowed when he followed that by removing his jacket, revealing his bare torso. This was really happening. Everything she had fantasised about was on the brink of coming true. With trembling fingers, she undid the fastenings of her jacket and walked towards him. It felt as though this was her first time again. She hadn't been this nervous about sex in years.

  Then again, she hadn't had sex in years. Every male in the fleet avoided her and she wasn't naive enough not to realise why. Her father had ordered all Lyran males of mating age within the army to keep their hands off her. It was a good job that she and her friends had visited Lyra Six all those times or she really would have been facing her first time. As enjoyable as being royalty was, it certainly had its downsides too. Usually when a man realised she was a princess, they were quick to run in the opposite direction. She didn't think her father was that frightening, and it wasn't as though she had to marry every man she was intimate with.

  But then, she would marry Van in a heartbeat.

  He stepped up to her and pushed her open jacket off her shoulders. The feel of his hands grazing her arms sent a warm shiver of pleasure through her and her eyes half closed, her lips parting.

  "Are we alone now?” she whispered, lost in the feel of his touch. Her jacket fell to the floor.

  His hands skimmed up her sides, fingers brushing the undersides of her breasts. She sighed and furrowed her brow, her mouth turning dry.

  "Yes,” Van husked in a voice so low it sent her trembling. His breath was hot against her cheek as he moved closer to her and lowered his hands to her sides again. This time when he brought them up, he raised the hem of her white vest with them. His hands brushed her bare stomach, sending a powerful jolt through her that made her hands tremble with the need to touch him.

  She had to feel him and feel this was real.

  Her touch was a tentative caress at first, tracing the line between his pectorals. Her eyes opened, her gaze tracking her hands as she flattened them against his chest, her fingertips pressing in. He tensed his muscles. They were rock hard, sending an ache to her stomach that made her hunger rise. She wanted to feel every inch of him, wanted to lose herself in the moment and the pleasure she knew that he could give her. There wasn't a man like him in the universe. None of the men of Lyra Six compared to Van.

  Her fingers trailed lower, charting the pronounced muscles of his stomach with a light caress. Van trembled beneath her wandering hands, his breathing shaky. A glance into his eyes revealed they were vivid crimson, intently fixed on her face. He pushed his hands up and under her vest, claiming her bare breasts. She bit her lip to stifle the moan that tried to escape her when his thumbs brushed her pebbled nipples. Sparks shot out from their hardened points each time this thumbs tortured them. She pushed her breasts into his hands, eager to feel more than his hands on her. Her mind raced to imagine how it would feel to have his mouth on her, his teeth teasing her nipples and tongue torturing her.

  "Touch m
e,” she begged, arching into his palms, aching inside.

  Van growled and pulled her vest off. The chill air sent a wave of goose bumps washing over her skin. Her heart pounded as he pulled her into his arms and picked her up. She clung to him, peppering kisses across his cheek, his forehead, his neck, anywhere she could reach. She bit lightly on his collarbone and he stilled. The air in the room seemed to shift, turning heavy and hard to breathe. He threw her down on the bed, towering over her, his eyes red and intense. His fingers stroked the point on his neck where she had bitten.

  Amerii's breathing quickened as she stared into his eyes, seeing his feelings battling inside him. Biting him might not have been her greatest ever idea.

  With a low rumbling growl, he covered her body with his, his hands claiming her wrists and pinning them to the bed.

  A little more dominant than she had expected.

  She wriggled to get free and his grip tightened. His lips parted to reveal sharp teeth. The shine left his eyes, making her feel as though he was no longer conscious of what he was doing. He lowered his head towards her and she gasped when he kissed her. Rough. Passionate. Everything she had imagined it would be and so much more. His mouth slanted over hers, his tongue thrusting into her mouth. She tried to respond but he was too fierce. Their teeth clashed. Too hungry. She submitted to him, hoping he would calm down. A flash of pain burst in her lip and her eyes widened when she tasted blood.

  Blood.

  Van's kisses grew hungrier, deeper, stealing her breath and turning her giddy. She pushed her arms up but he growled and shoved her wrists harder against the bed. Wrestling her mouth free of his, she turned her head to the side, breathing hard in an effort to clear her head. It spun but she wasn't frightened. She knew in her heart that Van wouldn't hurt her. He was just caught up in the moment and the bloodlust.

  "Van,” she whispered to her arm, staring at his right hand where it tightly gripped her wrist. Her hands were pale. He was holding her too tight.

  His body pressed against hers and she moaned internally at the feel of his hard arousal grinding against her groin.

  "Van?” she whispered again, hoping he would hear her wherever he had gone off to. She didn't feel as though he was here with her. He had said that she might be able to get through to him when he was lost in the bloodlust. She hoped that he was right.

  He dipped his head and kissed her neck, constantly returning to lick the arch of it above her collarbone. It tingled and then she felt nothing. Whenever his tongue brushed it now, it felt as though he hadn't touched her. It felt missing, numb.

  Her eyes widened as it hit her.

  She couldn't let him do that when he was like this. She wanted it but she wanted him aware of what he was doing when it happened.

  Amerii pushed her arms up, hoping to get his attention. He growled and pressed his body harder against hers.

  "Van!” she snapped and he paused at last.

  He slowly drew back and blinked at her, the shine back in his red eyes along with a look of confusion.

  "Are you with me?” she said and furrowed her brow, hoping his answer would be yes.

  He looked at his hands where they gripped her wrists and snatched them away, moving to kneel on the bed between her legs.

  "I...” He swallowed visibly and stared at her.

  Sitting up, she took hold of his hands, wanting him to see that he hadn't overstepped the mark and she wasn't angry with him. She smiled, kissed his fingers, and brought his trembling hands back to her breasts. His pupils narrowed and then widened when he palmed her breasts, his breathing heavy.

  "My neck is numb,” she said with another smile.

  His gaze flickered to it, his eyes brightening.

  "I...” he started again.

  Seeing that he was on the verge of another apology, Amerii caught him around the back of his neck and pulled him to her. Her lips claimed his, her kiss slow and gentle, an effort to keep him calm. His thumbs grazed her nipples, arousing them again, sending tingling waves over her skin. She slowly leaned back, taking him with her, until she was lying on her back with him on top of her.

  His hands moved down over her stomach, skimming her sides in a way that tickled her, and then ran along the line of the waist of her trousers. She bit her lower lip and looked down at his hands, silently urging him on. When he looked as though he was going to spend the whole journey to Varka Two just skimming his fingers back and forth along her belt, she stepped in and undid it and then her trousers. He pushed himself up when she brought her legs up and shoved her trousers down them. They hit her boots. An awkward smile settled on her lips when Van sat back and helped her by removing her boots. She probably should have taken those off first.

  Naked, she felt a little exposed when his dark red eyes trailed over her body, making her burn wherever they touched. She went to cover her breasts but his growl stopped her. Instead, she found herself toying with her nipples just to see the hunger in his eyes.

  His hands went to his belt and he was naked before she could make out what was happening. When he went to cover her body with his again, she pressed her hand to his chest, stopping him. She wanted to see him in all his glory. He was magnificent, his body as breathtaking as she had imagined it. Pure lithe muscle and strength knelt before her, his hard length thrusting eagerly from its home of dark curls, enticing her.

  She sat up and leaned forwards, pushing him back. He frowned at her but she didn't give him a chance to protest. Whatever words he had been on the verge of saying came out as a garbled mutter as she wrapped her lips around the sensitive head of his cock and sucked it. He thrust forwards into her mouth and she took him in deeper, suckling his length and imagining how good it would feel when he was inside her.

  His hands claimed her shoulders. She moved closer, wrapping her hand around the base of his length and moving it in time with her mouth as she sucked him. His fingers tightened against her, bordering on painful and then crossing that border into true pain when his claws penetrated her flesh. She released his length and gritted her teeth.

  His grip loosened. His eyes were wide when she looked up at him. They were bright red too, shining, speaking to her of his hunger. He wanted blood. She glanced at her shoulder. He had drawn it. Where each of his claws had broken the skin, a drop of crimson trembled. She smiled up at Van and touched one of the cuts. When blood coated her fingertip, she brought it to her mouth and sucked it clean, her eyes locked with his the whole time.

  She was playing with fire but she wanted him to bite her. She knew him well enough now though to understand that he would need a little convincing while he wasn't lost in his bloodlust.

  She crooked a finger.

  He licked his lips.

  He had drawn blood. It was his duty to clean it up and kiss it better.

  She smiled, wide and seductive. Her eyes narrowed on his.

  His gaze flicked between her eyes and the cuts, his breathing turning heavier with each passing second. She needed to get him to bite her before he lost control completely.

  Her eyes shot wide when he tackled her to the bed and began hungrily licking at the cuts, sucking occasionally. His movements were frantic, desperate, and made her realise how hungry he truly was for her.

  His tongue traced the marks and then he kissed down her body, his hands roughly gliding over her breasts and then her stomach.

  "You still with me?” she whispered, afraid to ask but needing to.

  He nodded and she could see in his eyes that he was fighting the bloodlust. He moved down her and, for a moment, she thought he was going to kiss the apex of her thighs, but then he did something far more erotic.

  He bit her just above the hip.

  The only warning she had was a sweep of his tongue, a momentary sense of numbness, and then his teeth were in her. She arched off the bed and cried out as a wave of pleasure crashed over her, so intense that her head spun and every bone in her body became liquid. She trembled against him, her body humming and throbbing as tho
ugh she had just climaxed. He locked his arms around her, feeding greedily, each pull on her blood sending another wave through her. She writhed against him, her groin slick with need and her abdomen aching for release. He growled against her skin and bit deeper, tearing another cry from her throat as she shuddered with her climax.

  He hadn't even touched her there.

  He had made her climax with just a bite.

  Amerii melted into the bed, too warm and fuzzy inside to care what happened to her. A lazy smile wound its way across her lips and she sighed, her focus scattered to the four edges of the galaxy. Van continued to drink for a while, slower and deeper now, a pace that matched how she felt, and then released her. He licked the mark on her hip and she smiled at the ceiling, stretching her arms out and toying with the short strands of her hair.

  Van appeared above her.

  She smiled at him too.

  His lips were red. Stained by her blood. She pulled him down and kissed him, tasting herself on them, wanting to know what it was about blood that made him wild. His hard length pressed into her groin and she raised her hips to it, rubbing herself against him. He moaned into her mouth and then broke the kiss.

  "I need you,” he whispered against her neck as he kissed and licked it.

  She needed him too.

  "Hmm ... come and get me then,” she said on a sigh, still a little delirious from her orgasm.

  "Are you ... I mean, do we need to..."

  Her smile widened and she managed to open her eyes properly.

  "My father insisted that I had sterilisation injections.” She had wanted to reassure him but the mention of her father seemed to make him even paler. She touched his cheek. “I choose who I love, remember?"

  Van nodded, frowned and then reached between them. She shuffled up the bed and watched as he guided his length into her. Their sighs combined as he eased in, deep and slow, and she hoped he would be able to keep control. The tight lines of his face spoke of restraint as he withdrew and thrust in again. He had tasted her blood without losing his mind but that didn't mean that he would remain calm. Anything could send him over the edge.